just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
