apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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