New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
this beer tastes like vomit already
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
