she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
