i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
