When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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