I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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