I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
