Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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