I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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