the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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