I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
