She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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