omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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