why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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