So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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