i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
