You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize