thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
