this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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