Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
