whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
