didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
