check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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