Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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