just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
