her vagine was all disorganized.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
