i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
