Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
