his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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