it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
