That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
