Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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