but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
