Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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  (757): then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?! http://tfl.nu/fmkj
  Replies (2) Good night (854) Bad night (1335)
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  (925): View more from California

  First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.

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  (925): First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so. http://tfl.nu/lvgi
  Replies (91) Good night (873) Bad night (9926)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.

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  (305): We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs. http://tfl.nu/e91l
  Replies (14) Good night (3573) Bad night (762)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?

  (1-506): View more from New Brunswick

  Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to

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  (506): Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh? (1-506): Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to http://tfl.nu/xpu9
  Replies (16) Good night (3229) Bad night (823)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.

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  (678): I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour. http://tfl.nu/s8k7
  Replies (13) Good night (756) Bad night (2594)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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  (207): hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either. http://tfl.nu/vb3y
  Replies (47) Good night (6446) Bad night (1711)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside

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  (862): Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside http://tfl.nu/iwzn
  Replies (23) Good night (1386) Bad night (5580)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.

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  (401): Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic. http://tfl.nu/24zg
  Replies (10) Good night (1687) Bad night (1537)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours

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  (610): You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours http://tfl.nu/b1w1
  Replies (5) Good night (2871) Bad night (927)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded

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  (904): I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded http://tfl.nu/240k
  Replies (9) Good night (5540) Bad night (900)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.

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  (910): I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything. http://tfl.nu/veiz
  Replies (9) Good night (1817) Bad night (782)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.

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  (563): i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look. http://tfl.nu/aj1z
  Replies (9) Good night (788) Bad night (1044)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it

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  (401): If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it http://tfl.nu/cn0p
  Replies (3) Good night (1173) Bad night (609)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...

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  (505): I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory... http://tfl.nu/vjel
  Replies (10) Good night (3100) Bad night (635)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  I want to change all my life goals to that.

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  (678): Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans. (1-678): I want to change all my life goals to that. http://tfl.nu/4r6x
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (431)

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