so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.