I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".