Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(804): View more from Virginia

If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(804): If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night.. http://tfl.nu/3lun

Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (3589)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there. http://tfl.nu/r1ke

Replies (18) Good night (5326) Bad night (655)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever. http://tfl.nu/cy9z

Replies (197) Good night (10731) Bad night (996)
Favorite
(864): View more from South Carolina

I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(864): I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger http://tfl.nu/bdgv

Replies (10) Good night (2907) Bad night (771)
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....? http://tfl.nu/4au4

Replies (13) Good night (3308) Bad night (1081)
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were http://tfl.nu/gg4c

Replies (5) Good night (2480) Bad night (756)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend. http://tfl.nu/kcdy

Replies (12) Good night (2463) Bad night (586)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right? http://tfl.nu/y4tp

Replies (5) Good night (1591) Bad night (1076)
Favorite
(416): View more from Toronto

Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

(613): View more from Ontario

you're kidding right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(416): Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow? (613): you're kidding right? http://tfl.nu/5c4n

Replies (9) Good night (2749) Bad night (537)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch http://tfl.nu/7p4s

Replies (2) Good night (2387) Bad night (450)
Favorite
(360): View more from Washington

High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(360): High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice. http://tfl.nu/cgkk

Replies (12) Good night (1224) Bad night (601)
Favorite
(701): View more from North Dakota

I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(701): I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul http://tfl.nu/ufft

Replies (8) Good night (1093) Bad night (479)
Favorite
(918): View more from Oklahoma

Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.

(918): View more from Oklahoma

And we're breaking up

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(918): Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash. (918): And we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/t8m0

Replies (9) Good night (462) Bad night (1949)
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee http://tfl.nu/okty

Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (284)
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza..... http://tfl.nu/oi2c

Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (314)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: