Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..

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  (314): Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is.. http://tfl.nu/1wrs
  Replies (50) Good night (2287) Bad night (9474)
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  (585): View more from New York

  lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time

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  (585): lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time http://tfl.nu/tppe
  Replies (9) Good night (4815) Bad night (679)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm

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  (440): One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm http://tfl.nu/xdgb
  Replies (16) Good night (5683) Bad night (692)
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  (818): View more from California

  She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.

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  (818): She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on. http://tfl.nu/3dyc
  Replies (31) Good night (932) Bad night (9732)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.

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  (914): I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here. http://tfl.nu/s43y
  Replies (15) Good night (4971) Bad night (1324)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression

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  (703): the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression http://tfl.nu/ti0p
  Replies (30) Good night (1281) Bad night (3843)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.

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  (403): while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see. http://tfl.nu/6p31
  Replies (4) Good night (3113) Bad night (1105)
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  (650): View more from California

  Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human

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  (650): Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human http://tfl.nu/6fr0
  Replies (4) Good night (2714) Bad night (1323)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.

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  (919): Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him. http://tfl.nu/jzxh
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (667)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.

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  (937): My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you. http://tfl.nu/3o9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2816) Bad night (649)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...

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  (859): Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS... http://tfl.nu/5739
  Replies (8) Good night (1051) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma

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  (919): Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma http://tfl.nu/tsev
  Replies (1) Good night (934) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think the firemen will remember me?

  (315): View more from New York

  Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.

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  (617): Do you think the firemen will remember me? (315): Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants. http://tfl.nu/g199
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.

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  (724): She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma. http://tfl.nu/9fyo
  Replies (1) Good night (419) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The most literal cowgirl position ever.

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  (602): So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night. (505): The most literal cowgirl position ever. http://tfl.nu/yx0m
  Replies (7) Good night (504) Bad night (294)

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