he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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