Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
there was a trapeze. enough said
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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