1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize