3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just google imaged poop.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
