I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
