My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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