Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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