Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize