Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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