Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
