I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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