So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Even my vagina gasped.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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