I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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