Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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