I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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