I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
