Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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