day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
