Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
a search helicopter?!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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