No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize