It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
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If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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