Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
