So drunk its hurt
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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