I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
