He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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