those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize