She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
