I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
