im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
