At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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