I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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