so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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