shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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